Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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