watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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