I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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