I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
