Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
