my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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