I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So here I am, sexting at work.
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