I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
