omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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