So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
