we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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