so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We got so high we made milksteak
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
