did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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