We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
