Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
