I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I smell stomach acid.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
