note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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