She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
