I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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