I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
