some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Fuck appropriateness.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
