all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I party with great urgency now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
