Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
