im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
