so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
