So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
