I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You're completely useless in the revolution.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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