But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
