So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
did you just send me my own nude
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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