yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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