I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
