How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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