the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You were trust falling into bushes
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