girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
