hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
