This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
