This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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