im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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