You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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