Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
