Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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