Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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