I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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