The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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