We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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