got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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