That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize