it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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