Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
