we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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