I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
