That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
